Dying Young
by SamCyberCat
Summary: Ryo muses on dying young, his own death and Fubuki’s thoughts on dying. Ryo/Fubuki.


For the gx_100. Set post-GX with flashbacks to pre-GX, the Dark World and season four.

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Heroes die young.

Dying young was suppose to look cool. Which is why it hadn't surprised Ryo when Fubuki told him that he wanted to die young.

It wasn't a meaningful statement, just one that had turned up casually in a conversation. Fubuki tended to talk about unusual things like that; it was part of the reason Ryo liked talking to him so much.

It was odd that this conversation came to mind when it did. Ryo was dying in the Dark World, with his brother and some of the others surrounding him. Fubuki was already gone. But for some reason that casual, passing conversation from their first year stuck in his mind.

He was certainly dying young now.

A hero's death.

Had that been what Fubuki had meant?

Ryo presumed that he wouldn't get the chance to ask him as he slipped away. But surprisingly enough he... did.

He hadn't been keeping track of the time so he couldn't say how long afterwards it was when he was sitting in the hospital, recovering from his operation. A few people had been to visit him but not many. Everyone had been busy lately.

The ones who came all asked the sorts of questions you'd expect to ask someone who had just been in for an operation: "How are you feeling?" "Do you think you'll be in the wheelchair long?" "Is there anything I can do for you?"

But Fubuki didn't ask questions like that. Ryo was alive, Ryo was seated in front of him in no immediate suffering, and therefore Ryo was all right.

He launched into a discussion about the sorts of things they use to talk about when they were closer. As if the past few years hadn't happened and it wasn't awkward between the two of them at all. It didn't take long until the question turned up.

"So what's dying like?"

Ryo analysed Fubuki's face for a few moments before replying, "Didn't you feel that when your soul was removed?"

"Nah, that was more like imprisonment," dismissed Fubuki, "But actual dying, how does it feel?"

"It's not something you get the chance to ask someone often," Ryo replied, though he should have known better than trying to justify Fubuki's logic to himself by now, "And it feels... I suppose it feels like closure. You might not have done everything in life but suddenly you don't have to. And if you're doing it for the right reasons it's satisfying."

The lips of Fubuki pursed as he thought about this, before he said, "You know, I'm really not sure I want to die young anymore. I mean, it must be amazing to die as a hero but there's so much I want to do. Maybe I'll just wait and die when it happens."

"That's what most normal people do, yes," Ryo said, grinning pointedly at him. It was worth the scandalised look thrown at him by Fubuki.

That was then.

Then was a long time ago.

Fubuki had lived to an old age. It was surprising the amount of people Ryo knew who lived so long when he considered what their lives had been like.

But this was hardly the first funeral Ryo had been to. Age caught up even with those who were experts at cheating death, and one by one the people who had graced Ryo's life with their presence were leaving him.

He thought about these various musings and conversations he'd had about death with Fubuki as he sat through the ceremony. It was hard not to.

And as they all rose up to pay their respects to him Ryo felt sure that Fubuki's long life had led him to do at least most of the many things he'd wanted to do through his life. He was at rest.

But Ryo was alive and not at rest. He was growing increasingly aware of his ability to live longer than anyone else. It was ironic considering. And he couldn't bear the thought that losing all these people felt so normal to him. It didn't cause him as much grief as it should have done. Why had he always been rational before emotional?

But this was Fubuki. Rational was out of the window when it came to him. He was probably standing from wherever it was he had gone laughing at Ryo for holding back on doing half the things he wanted to in his life.

He wouldn't do that this time though.

As it grew to his turn to pay his respects he stepped up to the body of Fubuki. He'd purposely waited until after most people had already been because the embarrassment and shame of his feelings still gripped him. He leaned down until the face of Fubuki was close to his own. So cold. So lifeless. So real...

Then he kissed Fubuki softly on the lips and pulled away again.

It didn't matter if the kiss had been to show his feelings of affection as a friend or feelings that he loved Fubuki more. What mattered was that it was one thing Ryo had wanted to do before he died. To kiss Fubuki. His only regret was that he couldn't do it while the other had been alive.


End file.
